Confused Thankfulness [#2]

Praying tonight for those in the midst of Hurricane Sandy. [See this earlier blog post for some other thoughts about the hurricane]. I have a lot of family up North but fortunately they don't seem to be in any serious danger right now. I know this can change quickly, but for now I'm thankful. 

Thankful is something I've been feeling more often in the last week. My job situation is still not ideal, but Monday-Wednesday some opportunities presented themselves and things are looking up. Thursday night I had a great time with Drew & Duke Lutherans [more on that later]. 

Friday night I babysat a couple adorable little girls so a Div. student couple could get a night out. I was happy to help them, but in the end I know I got the best end of that deal. Reading on the couch with a two and four year old curled up on either side, and then listening to them sing each other nursery rhymes when I [unsuccessfully] tried to get them to go to sleep. Yep, I was definitely thankful for that.

 Saturday we did some much needed cleaning before going to a friend's house for a Halloween party. Great food, got to catch up with friends, and OSU won. All things to be thankful for.

Sunday I slept in [reallllly late] which I haven't been able to do in a long time. Simple thing to be thankful for, but thankful nonetheless.

But, to return to a previous thought, it's Duke Lutherans that have been a big reason for this thankfulness. Thursday night we had a pumpkin carving party outside at St. Paul's new fire pit. It was a beautiful 70+ degree day, and I got to build the fire, so I was a happy girl. But those silly things aside, it's our students that bring me to this place of appreciation. It's such a joy to work with these people in this exciting and tumultuous time of their lives. And it's a joy to see Drew as he steps further into his call to work with them. The last three months have changed some of our plans, and for brief moments made us question what we were getting ourselves into with this whole "work in the church" thing. But those doubts can't last long when we're with these kids. They're the reason we're doing this. They're the call.

Drew summed it up nicely in his facebook status that night:

At some point during Sacred Space, the weekly small group event for Duke Lutherans, for the first time in a while I simply stopped and looked at our group. A few fully funded graduate students carving pumpkins along with a couple of NCAA Division 1 scholarship athletes. The leader of Antic Shakespeare enjoying the fire with the social chair of a sorority and museum curator to be. A PreMed Religion Major and an undeclared musician leading the charge for comedic relief and the first sloth/gourd fusion known to humankind. Others of us - fraternity brothers & coxswains, theologians & biologists, and many more unnamed - joined us in spirit. And I thought to myself, quite literally, "My God, what a wonderfully eccentric group," quickly followed by "My God, Thank you for this group, each of these people, this church which you entrust to me, with which you bless me, in which you show me your love and purpose for the world." Each of them - each of you - bless me, bring me life and light through Jesus, who binds us all together in our eccentricity.

[Now someone just has to tell us how we're supposed to say goodbye to these guys in May...]

So many books

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”
  - C.S. Lewis

 I love reading.

I used to be quite the reading fiend. As a child I always had a book with me. I would get in trouble for staying up too late reading in my room, or for trying to read during church. And I read super fast, which sometimes led people to believe I was skipping pages. I wasn't. They were just jealous :P

I think I love reading for the same reason I love TV/movies. I love getting caught up in a good story, getting lost in a world that someone else created, getting attached to characters who are well-developed. I'll be honest, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I like a good love-interest storyline in any kind of story.

Once you get into higher education, it's sometimes difficult to read for pleasure. That was definitely true for me. The end of my high school and the duration of my college careers included a lot of reading, but not of my own choosing. In the past year, though, the practice has been coming back to me, and I'm pretty excited about it. I got a Durham County library card earlier in the summer, and Drew bought me a tablet/e-reader for my birthday, so now there's no stopping me. Last night I stayed up way too late finishing a book. Part of me regretted it this morning when my alarm went off, but it was totally worth it.

Some of my reading list for 2012 (not necessarily in order):
- I had never read the Harry Potter books as a kid, so I read the whole series in January/February of this year. They were phenomenal. J.K. Rowling did such a great job creating that world and those characters in a consistent and holistic manner. Really enjoyed them, so much so that I re-read them during the summer :P
- The Hunger Games series I finished in a weekend (before the first movie came out). Loved the first book, the second two were less great, but as a whole I still really enjoyed the series.
- Had to get some classics in there so I re-read Pride and Prejudice, and read for the first time Mansfield Park.
- A friend gave me Pamela Aidan's Darcy Trilogy. Aidan is a librarian and Austen lover, and she wrote these three books from the perspective of Pride & Prejudice's Fitzwilliam Darcy. They were also fantastic. True to the details that Austen provides, but creates a whole new world and side of that love story. If you like P&P, you should definitely check them out.
- I read Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo after seeing news that the producer of the Harry Potter movies was going to produce this movie as well. I liked it. It was well-written, nothing spectacular but enjoyable. Of course, I'd forgotten how lame it is to read series as they are being written, because then you have to wait forever for the next one. It's much nicer to read the series after they're all released. But alas, I guess I'll wait.
- The Matched Trilogy. Fortunately, the first two books in this series are already released, and the third will be out next month, so not as much waiting ;) Also a cool read. Dystopian future big-brotherish setting. Girl starts questioning. Love triangle. Predictable, maybe, but I'm easy to please.
- I Am Number Four and following books. They made a movie out of the first book last year sometime, which I enjoyed, and I saw the books at the library website so I decided to read them. Drew's turned me into a bit of a sci-fi nerd, and this series is about aliens, but it's a cool story. I'm currently waiting to read the third one, but someone's not returning it to the library. Jerks.
- And the book I finished last night: Throne of Glass. Found this randomly on Amazon and after reading some reviews decided to buy it with some birthday Amazon money. According to the author's website, this was her inspiration for the book: “What if Cinderella was an assassin, and went to the ball not to dance with the prince, but to kill him?” That was intriguing enough for me, and I thought it was great. I'm hoping it becomes a series. And soon.

That's all I can recall right now. Going to try to stop myself from finding anything new for the rest of the week so my house will get cleaned and I can get some sleep. But, for next week, any suggestions for more books?

Dreaming

“God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.”
- C.S. Lewis

I'm not in love with my jobs right now.

My job at church that I've been doing for awhile is ok,
but the new job I've taken on is giving me a lot of anxiety.
Like, a lot.

I've been looking around for another part-time job to try to replace it, but no luck so far, and sometimes that really gets me down. I don't want to complain about it. I'm lucky to have one job, let alone two. It's really not that bad, I should be able to suck it up. But there are days that the work causes such distress in me that it's all I can do to not break down in tears.

Sometimes I let myself dream about the future. I'm holding out for that day when I'll enjoy the work I do. Not that it won't have it's own stresses, or that every day will be perfect, but that ultimately the work I do will bring me joy.

I don't know exactly what that looks like, or when it will happen, but I'm still dreaming. And praying. Praying that God will either provide a different job for me right now, or that He will give me peace about what I'm currently doing. Praying that He would teach me to dream, and help me figure out how to make those dreams reality. And praying that, in the midst of all this, that I would still know peace in Him. I could definitely use some Peace.

Another week down

It's crazy how fast this year has gone. It can't be that we've been in this new apartment for 5 months already. That the summer came and went. That Thanksgiving is only 6 weeks away. That Drew and I got married almost two years ago. But alas, it seems all those things are true!

The year may be flying by, but right now I'm enjoying my Saturday. We slept in until after ten, made pancakes for breakfast, and now we're watching football loving the sunshine and cool breeze coming through the window.

This week wasn't too exciting. Mostly recovering from our weekend trip. But here are a few fun/random things to share:

- Drew and I had several "we're an old married couple" moments last week. The first was when we got super excited that our electricity bill was only $65. The second was when we went on a coupon frenzy at target and saved like $30. Yep, this is our life. We're cool with it :)

- This is my turkey friend. He's been hanging out my my church for the past several days. I think he got separated from his pals, and liked to see his reflection in the glass doors, so that's where he's stayed. Scared me to death the first time I saw him peering in the window, but he grew on me.

- I joined Instagram and Twitter in the past week. Judge me or love me. Whatev :P

- It's been cool here in Durham but today it was sunny and Stan decided to take advantage. He is such a sweetheart, and several times a day I find myself thanking God for the joy he has brought to our lives.

- A newer pic of our cutie nephew, Benjamin :) Got to skype with brother & sister-in-law earlier in the week and see this handsome guy. Everyone is healthy and happy and we're thrilled.

- Last night the youth at our church had a lock-in and Drew and I joined them for their bonfire. Stan was a hit with the kids, and I got to use my fire-building skills and teach the kids the "Tarzan Song" I learned at Camp Findley. It was pretty awesome.

- My handsome husband is officially getting installed as Vicar at St. Paul's tomorrow morning. I'll be sure to post some pics :)

That's all I got. Happy Saturday!

And suddenly... bagpipes!

Weekends are too short.
Especially weekends with family.

In case you missed my super excited post about home a couple weeks ago, this past weekend Drew, Stanley and I made the [10-hour] trek up to western NY for my cousin's wedding. This officially ended Wedding Season 2012 for us. Between May and October we were invited to 7 weddings in 4 different states. Drew made it to four, I made it to five. It was crazy busy, but I loved it. It's so wonderful to be able to celebrate with people we love.

Thursday after work, we packed up our car and drove North. We got in after midnight, but Dad waited up for us, so we chatted with him for awhile. We finally crawled into bed around 2 a.m., but sleep was short lived, as both my body and Stanley woke up about 7:30 a.m. when we normally do, ready for the day. It was ok, though, because I wanted to soak up every minute I had. The trees had just started to turn, the grapes were ripe on the vine, it was sweatpants weather... pretty much perfection.

Later we walked down the farm and visited with Nana & Nano, took my dad out to lunch for his birthday, and took a 4-wheleer ride through some of the back property that Drew hadn't seen before. It was cool to have Dad play the tour-guide and tell us more about the family land.

Then it was spaghetti time! Weekly spaghetti with the family is one of the things I miss most about my childhood, so it's something I try to arrange every time we make it home. Friday did not disappoint :) We had over 30 people stuffed in our house, eating, laughing, and catching up. Plus we watched Avengers after dinner. What could be better than that? After everyone left I again stayed up way too late chatting with Tom and Caitlin about life, school, and wedding plans. Their wedding is set for the end of July, and I absolutely cannot wait.

Saturday, after some morning shoe shopping with my mom, we all headed up to Buffalo for the wedding. Though there was some stress/frustration about organization (or lack thereof) by the venue, it all worked out in the end.  I hadn't gotten to spend a ton of time with Angela during her engagement, but before the ceremony Jess, Alissa and I got to steal a minute alone with her in the bride room to snap a picture and pray together.

The room for the ceremony/reception was gorgeous, and the ceremony was beautiful. Once the couple had been announced and the first kiss was over, we heard... bagpipes? Yes, indeed. A kilted man playing bagpipes was walking in the door. Apparently the groom loves bagpipes and has always wanted bagpipes played for him, so Angela and her mom surprised him by hiring someone to play them for the recessional. It was pretty sweet :)

Then... it was party time :) The food was great, the bar was open, and the dance floor was packed. This is the only point of the weekend I actually took pictures, so here are a few.

Me & my handsome husband.

We clean up nice :)

All 6 of us!

My girls <3

 Grandkids +

 

Me & the Bride!

Unfortunately the night had to end. We drove back to Fredonia, ate some pizza and played Dutch Blitz with Tom & Cait, and then went to bed. Sunday was lost in the 10-hour drive back, but the weekend was definitely worth it. It's always sad to leave, but it was nice to get back to Durham and know that, though we had just left one home, we had returned to another one.

Blessed

My life is not perfect. It's full of struggle and sin.
But sometimes, even in the middle of that strife,
I am struck by how incredibly blessed I am.

This is my little cousin, Grace. Yesterday was her 6th birthday. I held Gracie in the hospital the day after she was born, and like her older siblings I've been blessed to watch her grow up. I cannot wait to see this dear one [and all the rest of my cousins!] in just a few days time.

 

This is our nephew! Baby Tucker was born yesterday afternoon, weighing in at 7 lbs and 20 inches long. No name as of yet, but Mom and Baby are healthy, and we are so incredibly thankful :) Unfortunately we have to wait until Thanksgiving to meet this little guy, but we're grateful for cameras and the internet so we can get our fill of this boy in the meantime!

The students who make up Duke Lutherans are a steady source of joy for Drew and me. Working with these incredibly gifted people as they are growing and discovering what they want their lives to be is such a gift. And they're pretty fun ;) In the last couple weeks two of our students have written two very different but amazing articles that you should totally read. "What the Disney Princesses Got Right: College Edition" is hilarious and full of some good advice. "Remembering Lessons of Cancer" is thoughtful and convicting. I encourage you to check both of them out, and then be jealous of the cool people that Drew and I get to live amongst here in Durham :)

Just 2.5 more days of work, and then NY bound.
Lord, give me strength.