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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I'm just in love with other people's words

Chronicles of Narnia - Dearest Daughter, Joy Shall Be Yours - Wall Quote. $30.00, via Etsy.
irisblasi:

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” -The Great Gatsby
Romans 5:8

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Siddhartha Gautama



screen shot 23 Great movie & TV screencaps (28 photos)


1) From here. 2) From here. 3) From here. 4) From here. 5) From here. 6) From here. 7) From here. 8) From here. 9) From here. 10) From here. 11) From here. 12) From here. 13) From here.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Cousins

Maybe it's because I've been anticipating this weekend with my parents, or perhaps because Brother Bear's wedding is already 2.5 months gone, and it'll be another 2.5 months until we're in Fredonia again, but I am missing my cousins A LOT lately.


My sweet cousin, Alissa, shared this old photo this morning, 
prompting a lot of nostalgia and thus, this post :)

If I'm remembering the stat correctly, my dad has 26 first cousins on his dad's side, and three living siblings in addition to that [anyone wanna check my math?]. In case you're wondering, that makes for very large family reunions. Though many have moved away at one point or another, my dad and all his siblings, and several of his cousins ended up back in Fredonia, where I grew up, when they settled down and had kids.



What's so funny [ironic? sad? just a fact of life?] to me today is that many people whom I consider to be good friends have little to no idea about my crazy extended family and what a huge part of my life they are. Even as I write this, I can't talk about what being a "Conti" meant without first clarifying that Conti is my maiden name, because there are many who have never known me as anything but Michelle Tucker. Growing up and moving around is weird like that, isn't it? But that's another topic for another post. Today, I'm reminiscing about these amazing family members who are also some of my dearest friends.



To be a Conti in Fredonia was a thing. I'm the second oldest of 11 [soon to be 12!] grandchildren in my dad's family, currently ranging in age from 25 to 2 years old [or, fetus if you're counting the 12th :P]. The older seven of us were all within 5 grades of each other, and we went to the same school. Adding to the mix my second-cousins, I had at least one cousin in the four grades ahead of me, and the four grades below me, and three who graduated with me. If that isn't crazy enough for you, a good number of us also lived on the same road. As in, all of my neighbors were related to me.  A number of my aunts and uncles either taught or coached sports in the school district. One owns a health club downtown. My grandpa has been a farmer in town for most of his adult life. On several occasions people at school asked me to draw up a family tree so they could figure out exactly how I was related to this cousin or that teacher. When I introduced myself to somebody new, it was probable that once I said my last name there would be some recognition, for better or for worse. 


I've talked before about how my brother and I are pretty close, and how I being at Ashland together made me realize how abnormal that was, but even growing up I was never under any delusion that the situation with my extended family was "normal." While many of my friends only saw their cousins for holidays or special events, I saw mine all the time. We had our own friend groups and niches, but inevitably our activities and experiences were interwoven. Bus rides, choir, sports practices and rides home were most often shared with at least one cousin.  We sang in church and ate spaghetti at Nana's almost every Sunday. In the summers we did chores, had sleepovers, explored the creek, went to camp and had bonfires together.  When the younger cousins came along, they became our first babysitting victims charges. We weren't just family, we were friends, classmates, cheerleaders and, occasionally, adversaries. It wasn't normal, 
it wasn't perfect, but man was it fun :)



How do you transition from being so intertwined in the lives of this many to seeing them 2-3 times a year? Not easily. 6 seasons since I left Fredonia and I still hate that I can't watch Alissa's XC meet this weekend, despite how vividly I can remember the discomfort of being outside all day to watch her run in high school when there was 2 feet of snow on the ground. For all the hours and days I spent at soccer games or wrestling tournaments for the older boys, I hate that I may never get to see Sammy play for his high school team, or watch Jules march with the band. I especially hate that I can probably count on two hands the number of times I've seen Patrick since he's been born, and the same will probably be true for the new baby in her first 2 years. It may be normal for many people to only share in the accomplishments of their extended family from afar, but it still does not feel normal to me.

The grandchildren, plus spouses :)

I've loved the past 6 years since I graduated from high school, and I don't regret my choices to go away to college or the moves that followed. But I will never stop missing these dear people when I'm away from them, and I wouldn't want to. Missing them is hard, but I feel so incredibly blessed that I have so much to miss.

Friday, October 11, 2013

20,000 Words





via | sweet serendipity


despicable me
Psalm 63:3.
Sirius Black's quote from Harry Potter
Positive description of failure
.rumi
I wonder what I look like in your eyes



Iron Man




Fighting stormtroopers in a bookstore


1) From here. 2) From here. 3) From here. 4) From here. 5) From here. 6) From here. 7) From here. 8) From here. 9) From here. 10) From here. 11) From here. 12) From here. 13) From here. 14) From here. 15) From here. 16) From here. 17) From here. 18) From here. 19) From here. 20) From here.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

How do I pray today?

As the morning paper, CNN.com, and your social networking sites can attest, something big is happening in Washington. As a Christian it seems fitting to pray. I'm sure pastors around the country are calling their congregations to prayer this morning. We are a people who believe in a God who hears our prayers, and right now our country could clearly use some divine intervention.

But the reflection that this morning's news has necessitated in me has forced me, once again, to admit the sad truth that I am woefully ignorant of [a great many things, including] the vast majority of the problems our government is dealing with, and the ways in which the government functions [or, is supposed to function] in order to deal with these problems.

I don't know how to pray about this shutdown because I just don't know what's going on.

I've never been interested in politics or government. We didn't have political debates around the dinner table growing up. Living at Duke alongside some very opinionated and intelligent students encouraged me to be a little more socially aware; marrying into a family which is also very opinionated and willing to have conversations about all those opinions has taught me that healthy discourse is possible. But I will not delude myself into thinking that I am as informed as I should be about what is happening in our country today. The only way I know how to"help" is to join my prayers with the Body of Christ across the country, but I am finding that I'm not sure how to even do that.

How do we pray when it is hard to get a clear understanding of what's going on? Who's to blame- the Democrats? Republicans? The President? Which media outlet or political analyst is telling us the truth? Is there such a thing as "truth" in this situation? Is there a way for this to be resolved, or will any solution just be a band-aid, holding us over until the next crisis? Is our current system sustainable? What about healthcare, which side is right about that?

These questions overwhelm me. But this morning, I'm thinking about this desire to know the "truth" before I pray, and wondering what that's all about. It seems that I am afraid that being uninformed will lead to petitioning God incorrectly, or something to that effect. That, unless I've formed an intelligent opinion, my prayers are worthless. But I'm pretty positive that is not how it works. And, if I am a person who believes in a God who hears my prayers, and that our country needs some divine intervention, praying is exactly what I should be doing right now. Praying not only for resolution in the government, but also that God's people would rise to the occasion in this time of crisis, to be informed and help serve those suffering the consequences of this shutdown, and of the brokenness of our system in general.

:: I may not know who is to blame for this shutdown, or really if blame can be appropriated to one person or set of people, but I know that, to find resolution, there needs to be a softening of hearts and minds and a willingness to listen and compromise. And so I pray for the members of the House and the Senate, that they may be convicted to listen to one another in an attempt to find resolution that will benefit the people of this country, even if they disagree with parts of it.

:: I may not know all the ins and outs led to this shutdown, but I know that there are some 800,000+ people today who suddenly don't have a paycheck, and that's a terrible feeling. And so I pray that the Church would rally around those individuals and families, to provide for them when and where there is need. Also, that we would remember the millions of other people who have been without jobs prior to today, and that we would not abandon them and forget their needs in the midst of a culture with a terribly short attention span.

:: I will never know the immense difficulty and responsibility that lays on the President's shoulders, but I know that, whether you agree or vehemently disagree with anything/everything he has done, he was elected into this position and now must bear the weight of that responsibility. And so I pray for an abundant portion of God's wisdom to be upon him. That he would mediate, listen, direct, and compromise. That he would seek always to do good and serve in his position to the best of his ability.

:: I definitely do not know the "truth" about healthcare reform, if either side is right, or what the ramifications of the legislation will be, but I do know people who are sick and cannot get health insurance, who are caught in a spiral of medical debt for which there is no foreseeable end. And so, as I long for a day when there is no more sickness or brokenness of body or mind, I pray for a system that will better serve the masses of people who are currently unable to get the health coverage that I have been so fortunate to have throughout my life. And I pray that the Body of Christ would rise up to serve and speak for those persons, that we would not be content to sit by idly when so many people who are made in the image of God are suffering and do not have the power or resources to find help and be made whole again.

:: I may never be able to figure out what's really happening in Washington, whose opinion can be trusted, what the long-term consequences of whatever law or policy being debated will be, but I know that God knows. And so I pray that even, and especially, in the midst of situations that I do not understand and cannot control, I would still pray and trust that God listens.

Hear us, O God.
Your mercy is great.