Confused Thankfulness [#3]

It's 1:19 a.m., so I can officially say Happy Thanksgiving to y'all.

Last year when I was up this late (or, early, rather) on Thanksgiving it was because we were getting ready to host our first Thanksgiving dinner. This year I'm not cooking anything, and I'm pretty ok with it ;)

No, this year we are traveling for Thanksgiving. In a few short hours we will drive to the airport and get on a plane to Colorado to spend the holiday weekend with Drew's parents, our sister-in-law and her family, and finally meet our nephew, Benjamin.

One of my favorite pics of the little guy so far :)

The traveling will be crazy for sure, but I'm excited to spend a few days with Drew where neither of us have work expectations, to see family we don't get to spend time with often, and to get as much of this precious boy as possible.

We're leaving for the airport at like 3:30 a.m., so I decided to just stay up and keep busy in hopes that once we get on the plane, I'll be so exhausted that I can't help but fall asleep, no matter how uncomfortable I may be. Drew decided to go to bed a couple hours ago, so I've been enjoying some introvert time, cleaning, packing, and putting up the Christmas tree.

[blurry pic of the tree from Photobooth]

I've been thinking some about growing up. My brother and his fiancee are spending Thanksgiving in NY with my family, and she tweeted earlier about it being her first holiday away from home. I realized as I responded with support to her, that this is my 6th [major] holiday from home. I was a bit taken aback by that. I can't believe how quickly these last few years have gone. That first holiday away is such a big thing. Now it's a fact of life. It's not any easier to know what I'm missing by not being in my childhood home surrounded by the family who raised me. I'm still looking forward to the next time I'll be in that place with those people, and in the years to come I will always hope that we can spend these particularly special days of the year with them.

But, I find myself torn this Thanksgiving. Torn between all the different places I want to be. I want  to be in Fredonia, playing Dutch Blitz with Tom and Cait, helping my Mom get the house ready for dinner tomorrow, seeing all my cousins and eating way too much of Nana's stuffing. But I also want to be in Colorado, meeting my nephew and spending time with Drew's parents and Michelle and her family. And I want to be in Ohio, with the rest of Drew's family and Matt and Karen and our godsons. And, truth be told, I want to be in Durham, spending a few days at our home without having to worry about work, cuddling with Stanley and making dinner for our friends and students who are staying behind this weekend.

I've lamented before about how it's hard growing up and having work and other responsibilities keep you from the things you want to do and the people you want to see. It's been hard for me, a person raised with so much family so close to me, to live this far away. But, I think tonight, I'm realizing that it's hard growing up because, as you grow, so does your capacity to love. And the more you love, the more there is to miss.

So to all my family and dear friends, I wish a very Happy Thanksgiving. For those I will not see this holiday, I miss you terribly, but I'm thankful that I have you to miss.

Just to say something

It's been over a week since I blogged asking y'all to pray for me about a job situation. For the reasons surrounding that post and otherwise, much of last week wasn't great. I thought about blogging a couple times, but I had no idea what to write about, so I didn't. I'm not sure I have much to write about today, but sometimes you just need to say something, you know?

I would still covet your prayers over my job stuff. With Drew's encouragement, I did give notice to my boss, saying that I would not work past Christmas. It was hard, and I'm still nervous about finding something else, but I know it is what's best for my health and sanity, and I'm grateful that Drew helped me feel ok about that. We've been really blessed to find out that we'll be receiving some financial support from one of our churches in the near future, so I'm thankful that God is providing in that way as I continue to search for a way to make some more money for us.

Despite the less than stellar week, the weekend was fun because our [newly engaged] friends from Ashland, Cameron and Sara, came for a visit! The timing could not have been better as Durham graced us with a beautiful 70 degree weekend. It was so nice to catch up and visit with them, especially at such an exciting time in their lives!

Monday I worked both jobs and got home just in time to see Drew off to a dinner meeting. Rather than mope around by myself, I corralled my little bro and talked my parents through getting google plus so that we could all do a google hangout. Best. Idea. Ever.

Dad, Mom, and [really old] Chip the Dog

Tom discovered the Effects App

 

 

 Arrrrr!

Tom has a cake, and I have a party hat.

It was pretty great. Since Drew and I are heading to Colorado for Thanksgiving, I won't get to see my family again until New Years', so I'm very grateful to Google for developing such cool software, even if we are letting them take over the world.

So, while I'm still stressed and unsure about the job situation, it's good to remember that I'm blessed with wonderful friends and family.

That's something worth saying.

Prayers, Please

Hello friends -

If you've read some of my earlier posts, you know that I'm working a part-time job right now that is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. I've been trying to find something to replace it for awhile now, and finally thought I had something lined up. But yesterday that job fell through. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty sad about it.

Drew was gone so I called my mom. She let me cry and said she was sorry, and also reminded me that God still has something in store for me. I know that's true, but at that moment I was still pretty upset.

Once I got off the phone I got back on Craigslist to look at what jobs were listed, and I found an ad for a job that is exactly what I want to do. Seriously. This morning I called the woman to see if she was still accepting resumes. She said that she already has a lot of applicants to wade through, but that I could send her my information, so I did.

At this point I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm really hoping that this is the door God is opening as the other one was shut. So I'm coveting your prayers for this. That something about my resume would stick out to this woman and I would get an interview, or that another opportunity would come up. I guess mostly that I would still know that God is taking care of me through all of this and that He is going to provide. It's something that I know in my head but am struggling to remember in my heart.